I Declare War Against Fatness

I have a problem. I am getting fat and I am eating fried plantain chips right at this moment. I have to get off my ass and get to working this fat pad that is developing across my tummy. I keep telling myself that after this exam I will control my eating and exercise. I need someone to be on my back I need that someone to be me.

This has brought me to the point of trying to understand why I make poor food choices and why I feel the need to fill a void with comfort food as they call them.

Lately, I have found myself very disenchanted by school and I have no personal life to redirect my frustrations. So I have been sublimating my feelings of emptiness into the making and consumption of foods such as sweets and baked goods. I must say that carbohydrates really are the devil. The glucose you get from them in short periods can make you feel sooooo good inside until it is converted to fat and your ass gets larger and large like mine has become.

I have been unable to fit into articles of clothing that I wear everyday. I am not a big guy so extra weight shows in my face and in my hips within a few weeks. The fact that I am constantly under stress and in need of comfort that I cannot get from other sources I turn to food. Every time I try to restrict my intake I have a bad week that turns me into a neurotic melodramatic person riddled with guilt after the consumption of something that comes with a side of french fries. Then things are all downhill from there.

So I would like to put a stop to this all before the dreaded holiday season of endless temptation and guilt begins and I end up in denial like this kitty. (Just as soon as I finish this last bag of chips. Damn You Exams!!!)

              

LIBs

Another Early Morning Post

It is almost 1am and I am sitting around naked after a long day of studying. I really wish that I could focus a bit more on just being alive and just existing. I wanted to come up with something good to post here but my life is a bit dull.

I sit in the dark alone sometimes to think and sometimes I am not sure if I want to know my own thoughts. I make some strange associations and come up with some pretty strange thoughts at times but I suppose that is all part of being a little eccentric.

Maybe not as eccentric as my dearly loved Icelandic diva Bjork but eccentric nonetheless.

                        

LIBs

Young Adulthood...a 20 something's thoughts

Another morning, another day to ponder why I chose my path. Don't you hate it when as soon as you get to sleep the morning just sneaks up on you yet again. I really wish I could sleep in more often than just 1 day a week. I really wish I could just not go in today but I already used a sick day this week. I really don't like having responsibilities and having to do things I don't really want to do but do them anyway because they have done. Having bills sucks! lol

Oh well at least I can appreciate a wine spritzer from time to time to colour my world. But when you have no love life and your Friday nights consist of...gosh I don't know what I do on Friday nights!

Guys I need an intervention! Unfortunately this is not Bravo or MTV or TLC or whatever so a team of tv experts with life coaches and fashion consults aren't going to to spring out from behind the sofa to save my life. I have to do it on my own and its hard. They definitely did not tell me it would take this long and I would be this lonely all the time...whoever did not deliver my memo on that should be fired!

I am not convinced that the sacrifices (which only become greater as you advance) one has to make in order to become the professional the world always told you was best are worth it. In closing, since I must garner some sort of nutrition now before I head to the hell hole, being an adult sucks ass face.

 

LIBs

Moving Ahead...one coke at a time

Well I guess I am supposed to make some smart comment on my life as a lonely perpetual student in some far flung corner of the world where I cannot be myself. But I think I may need to tone down my fear induced anger in order to grow and change as a person.

I told myself that I would write a sincere blog about my true thoughts and I have been writing totally contrived diatribes about myself living in a world which I hold such contempt for. So I think I will be a but more honest and maybe I can use this blog as a means of venting my frustration and maybe be a catalyst for change.

I almost completely certain that this blog is being read by approximately 0 people which should probably make it easy to do. But I have a deep seated fear of being identified but I mean how egotistical of me to even imagine that someone would waste their time to learn the identity and dwelling place of a blogger who operates a blog which has 0 readers.

So today, although I felt like total crap for the majority of the day, it all improved with a bottle of coke and some foul tasting imitation chocolate thingy well mostly the Coca Cola. 

Who knew that a carbonated beverage could improve your quality of life while slowly killing you inside. I think this is one of the great ironies of life but I will pretend that it is the best damn thing since psychoactive drugs! Oh wait it is!!!

LIBs