Well I just got back home from a great run with a friend. I am trying to maintain good healthy exercise habits. Gotta look good for the future baby daddies out there! As Ms. Fergie says working on mah fitness!
I am back at school and ready to work hard this semester and I sure do have my work cut out for me. I have not given up on blogging as this island boy will continue to speak!
Holla!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
To K...
The way forward this new year...
So many choices and decisions to be made. I wonder if I will make the right choices and be happy or make the right choices and be unhappy. I was out with some friends and they were talking about gay men. One said if she saw me kissing another guy then she "would not know me" (translation our friendship is over). The other said whatever I choose would be fine. Now I am home and I am thinking. Thinking how lonely I really I feel in the world. Thinking how much I need someone in my life to help make things better.
I think of all the guys I have liked but never approached. The ones I had a feeling about but never quite got the chance or nerve to approach. I look back and think how much I would have loved to be with them. You all know the guy that you always secretly desired. The guy that you would gladly get with if you had the chance. The ones you may have known all your life but could never quite get close enough. The guy you dreamed about sharing a life with while you looked onas he was with another. I can say this all too well...a thought of him brings chills of longing through your body. Then you realize it is just a fantasy and you're all alone and he is with someone else. I hate living this lie.
When you fall in love with your best friend and find the courage to tell him and his friendship fades away. The pain you endure day by day but keep bottled up inside as the love that you wanted oh so bad never comes your way. The anger, self hatred leads to the destruction of your self confidence and heart ache consumes you. Everyone says how great you are but you hate yourself more each day. I need release I need to be freed from this thing that haunts me and prevents from moving on with my life. How could the words I love you cause such hurt. I'd take them back if it could make things right but I can't. All I could ever want is for him to say that he loves me too but I know that will never happen. I can't take the things I said back but I would at least like us to speak again. It's been about 5 years since we last spoke FUCK I still love you!
All those letters I wrote to you and all the time we spent together...I miss it I miss our long talks on the phone, our walks and everything! My first love you'll always be...
So many choices and decisions to be made. I wonder if I will make the right choices and be happy or make the right choices and be unhappy. I was out with some friends and they were talking about gay men. One said if she saw me kissing another guy then she "would not know me" (translation our friendship is over). The other said whatever I choose would be fine. Now I am home and I am thinking. Thinking how lonely I really I feel in the world. Thinking how much I need someone in my life to help make things better.
I think of all the guys I have liked but never approached. The ones I had a feeling about but never quite got the chance or nerve to approach. I look back and think how much I would have loved to be with them. You all know the guy that you always secretly desired. The guy that you would gladly get with if you had the chance. The ones you may have known all your life but could never quite get close enough. The guy you dreamed about sharing a life with while you looked onas he was with another. I can say this all too well...a thought of him brings chills of longing through your body. Then you realize it is just a fantasy and you're all alone and he is with someone else. I hate living this lie.
When you fall in love with your best friend and find the courage to tell him and his friendship fades away. The pain you endure day by day but keep bottled up inside as the love that you wanted oh so bad never comes your way. The anger, self hatred leads to the destruction of your self confidence and heart ache consumes you. Everyone says how great you are but you hate yourself more each day. I need release I need to be freed from this thing that haunts me and prevents from moving on with my life. How could the words I love you cause such hurt. I'd take them back if it could make things right but I can't. All I could ever want is for him to say that he loves me too but I know that will never happen. I can't take the things I said back but I would at least like us to speak again. It's been about 5 years since we last spoke FUCK I still love you!
All those letters I wrote to you and all the time we spent together...I miss it I miss our long talks on the phone, our walks and everything! My first love you'll always be...
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Happy New Year Ya'll!!!
Hi everyone whoever is there?
I would like to say a Happy New Year 2008! May all your dreams come true or begin to work on them!
Much Love
I would like to say a Happy New Year 2008! May all your dreams come true or begin to work on them!
Much Love
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